I’m Bored Of Everything

I don’t know if it’s my depression or not, but I’m beginning to think not. I used to think since a symptom of depression isn’t enjoying anything you love it has to be that, but I’m wondering if it isn’t just depression that’s doing this, but awareness.

It all started when I was playing Mad Max on Xbone. I was getting excited because they had some game mechanics that I thought were so interesting. A game where you drive a car and you need to find gas? That’s actually uncommon in the gaming community so I appreciated it. But the more I played it, the more it was Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead Redemption in another skin.

Fall Out, Witcher 3 and Sky Rim, three of my top ten favorite games, are the same damn game. I started playing Thief and at first, it was so amazing until it was Assasins Creed mixed with Far Cry. And the Sims 4…. it is literally an exact copy of the PC game like they knew the theme of my current life and needed to play along.

It started to happen in shows and movies. We watched Black Mirror the fourth season. I was so excited when it came on because I never know what is going to happen in Black Mirror. They have all of these twists and turns and then as we watch it, they weren’t being the Black Mirror I was hoping for. Yes, it was filled with artistic choices and it was really awesome to pick those things out, but I almost cried because each episode was as predictable as the Cosby Show.

I scroll through Netflix and they have these amazing movies and shows out but they are all the same damn storyline. Every movie, show, book, game has been done over and over and over and I’m tired of it. I’m not surprised or impressed by anything and it’s making me so upset. I used to be so excited for Red Dead 2 to come out, but it will most likely be just a western Grand Theft Auto V. Which will make Rockstar a lot of money, but I’m exhausted of this.

I’m not sure if this world has become boring if it always has been boring or isn’t boring at all but I can’t find the joyous light in entertainment I used to. It only drives me to create a video game that isn’t like the others. I want to make a story and a game that no one has played before. No star-crossed lovers, no lover betrayal, no government takedown, a story that we haven’t heard. But what story is that? I see the struggle, but I don’t think I will put a video game out unless it’s something I’ve never seen before.

I’m bored of this world. I’m bored of the same stories being told in the same way. You know what movie I want to see? Independence Day from the Alien’s perspective. I have no problem with the reuse of stories, I guess, but I think my problem is we are always hearing the same side of the story.

Star Wars (1-6 because that’s all I’ve seen) does a good job and I think that’s why they are so successful with a cult following. The fact that they introduce you to the main villain as a child and show how he grew up, humanizing evil and showing his perspective after you’ve already gone through three movies of hating him and wanting him dead. That is something that I would like to see more.

And I’m tired of being able to call out what is going to happen next. Like, I understand foreshadowing, but that’s not what I’m talking about. For instance, as soon as this girls accent changed I knew she was someone’s daughter, I knew she was going to turn on someone, I knew how she was going to do it. In just a few seconds I had figured out the rest of the episode. And that was supposed to be the Big Surprise episode. I do this automatically, and I am so happy and excited when I am wrong, but lately, I haven’t been. Everything is so predictable. And it’s boring.

Kill the main character. Torture innocent children but don’t turn them into villains, make them gods. Do something crazy because I’m finding more enjoyment in silence than what movies and games have to offer.

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