I’m first off going to start this with a message out to the men. Hey. I see you. I want to thank those of you who have found that the way you treat women might not actually be all that okay and are working on fixing it. Or the men who interject when a woman is being bullied or intimidated. For the guys who say, “Sounds like she just wants to be left alone, man,” I salute you. I’m most likely not talking about you. But, I bet you might know someone who can relate.
Guys complain about the friend zone. Which for me has made me feel guilty everytime I’m friends with a guy. Of course, I have my few dudes who don’t have an ounce of pressure and live their lives fine with just being my friend. But the majority of them make me uncomfortable.
I think, dang do I have to sleep with him in order for him to hang out with me? Is that what I have to do to have value for this person? Luckily, I don’t care anymore. If you don’t want to be my friend, I’m cool with that. But I’m tired of people still blaming girls for not wanting to spread their legs for every guy who has nice words.
Les Mis is one of my favorite musicals. My husband got the DVD for me on my 23 birthday and I watched it until it didn’t work anymore. And y’all want to talk about friend zone? Let me give you a little synopsis. There are spoilers just so you know.
There’s this guy who has this best friend who is beautiful and amazing and a little tomboy because she was raised in the streets. Her voice is an angel that has descended from above and she is my favorite character. She is in love with this dude. Not because he is rich or anything, which he is. But because of who he is and his passion for his country. And one day while they are hanging out in the market, some pretty blonde walks by and the dude is like OMG WHO IS THAT? He tells his best friend, you have to find out who she is. So the girl does and takes him to this blonde chick. And then THEY FALL IN LOVE AFTER ONE SONG. Homegirl is broken to pieces. The guy is like finally, my life is complete! And homegirl is like every word you say is a dagger in me. She sings a song about how she dreams of his arms around her and how the world with him is a paradise and without him, her world crumbles. And without her, his life is unchanged. And this, my friends, is what the common friend zone looks like. But you know what homegirl does? Does she get upset and kill the blonde? Does she steal her man away? Does she scream life isn’t fair? She says, “He was never mine to lose,” and then sacrifices herself for him on the battlefield like a BOSS.
That is how you handle friend zone. You recognize that this person wasn’t your property, you see their happiness and try to nourish it, and you continue loving them. You don’t threaten them, you don’t bully them, you don’t guilt them. You let them be.
Some guys could learn a lot from women.