Well… It Was Good News

I got some good news. That within the first month and a half of quitting my full-time job, I might be able to replace my previous income with a big client and several little clients. Which is crazy, because I’m paying my bills by doing something I love to do, write. I’m making enough to live off of and not be miserable. And I’m going in a direction I am passionate about, and with this bigger client, though he won’t be paying me big money, he will (hopefully) cover a little chunk of what I was making. This could be the start to the rest of my life as a writer.

About a year ago, my mother called me crying. Her and my grandmother had it out again, and she needed somewhere to stay. So my husband and I let her come live in our small two bedroom duplex, and she brought her deadbeat boyfriend I kicked out 6 months later after he stole money from my homeless mother and asked me for cigarettes.

Mom broke her ankle real bad a couple years ago, working has been difficult. And she is around the age of retirement, but AT&T made sure she wasn’t going to get that after over 35 years of service. So she applied for disability, and she got it. I don’t care that she is using the government’s money to live. She deserves a retirement that a corrupt business took away from her.

So when we moved into a bigger house, she said she would take care of the bills. She would cover rent, water, electric, cable, and even give us a little extra to use for food or whatever. This was because I was quitting my job at the café and we wouldn’t be able to live on just my Husband’s paycheck. So I thought awesome, look at mom being a mom. Helping me out.

She had plans of making sure that we had a couple thousand in our savings account, or at least had enough to sit on to be safe. She would carry us for a few months like we did for her, just so that we had a fair shot at this ridiculous life in America at the age of 27 trying to survive.

One month later. One check later. One help out later after she lived in my home rent free for over half a year, she pulls out. Why? Because of my exciting news that I am no longer excited about. Since I will be making almost as much as I was, she wants to split the bills three ways now.

This wouldn’t be a problem had she not promised months worth of rent. This would not be a problem if she didn’t go on and on about how important saving is and how she doesn’t want us to spend our money. This wouldn’t be a problem if she wasn’t addicted to shopping and makes me wonder is this to support her habit? Is her habit more important than my husband and I starting our lives together? If it wasn’t important to help us after helping her for that long, she shouldn’t have offered.

Yes, she is paying for my wedding. But I don’t appreciate favors that are held over our head, so we have to suffer. And get this, she told me maybe ten minutes after I explained the good news. She couldn’t be happy for me longer than 10 minutes before she took back her word.

It has always been about her, and she always reminds me why I turned out the way I did. And why I am a better person now.

She always complains how I was a terrible teenager. When I was a human being trying to figure out who I was through puberty and mental illness. I was the poster child for birth control she said.

What does that say about her as a mother?

Now I am strong, kind, courteous, smart, and a bunch of really good things. Because I lived without her for 6 years. I spent time working on myself, figuring me out and becoming a person I want to be. And now she comes back bragging about how amazing her child is.

Sorry, can’t take credit for good me. You just created the monster in me, I’m the one who is fixing it. And you will always continue to be the accidental monster that hides in everyone with mental illness. I just wish she was mature enough to realize it.

 

Sorry. I’m really upset. I’m done now.

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