My World Is Gray

It’s odd having Borderline Personality Disorder. The feelings are just odd. Extreme emotions, almost always inappropriate. When I hear about stories of drunk people, often times I have seen myself react similar completely sober just very excited or upset. I’m always battling myself, worrying, critiquing. But lately, depression has been taking the stage. What I’m... Continue Reading →

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“Size 0 Is Not A Size”

-- I'm going to level with you before you read this. I was really angry when I wrote it. When you have BPD, you get triggered. And your emotions can get the best of you. I wanted to delete this post because I was so embarrassed by my reaction to a dumb tweet that wasn't... Continue Reading →

My Wedding Dress

I got my wedding dress in today. My husband and I got married in September, but it was a small deal just parents. So now we are having the ceremony in April. And I got my dress today and I have some feelings. I saw it online and it looked so beautiful on this beautiful... Continue Reading →

How Do You Hangover?

I’m curious. I always hear about how people feel nauseous and have a headache, but is that really all that people feel when they have a hangover? Because my hangover is nothing like that. I went out for drinks the other night, and like an idiot, I got carried away. I’ve been doing pretty well... Continue Reading →

I’m Getting There With CBD

When I think back to who I was a year or two ago, not just like career wise but brain and health wise, I am doing so much better. I don’t have outbursts, I don’t yell and scream or break things (aside from when it was pulled out by my mother who I’m pretty sure... Continue Reading →

I Didn’t Cut To Die

TRIGGER WARNING: There is a lot of talk about cutting and how much I used to like it. If this might trigger you to go back to old habits, skip this blog. I watched a video today made by a woman named Asha Iqbal about why the Muslim community doesn’t really talk about self-harm. (Here’s... Continue Reading →


I used to lie a lot in high school. A whole lot. I would exaggerate when things happened ALL OF THE TIME. But it was because I learned that when you cry over something small, everyone tells you to suck it up and get over it and stop being such a baby. But when something... Continue Reading →

I Was Racist In High School

I was racist in high school. I didn’t hate minorities, but I was a regular white comedian. I made jokes that if I were to say them today, I would probably throw up before I could get the words out. To give you a picture, my nickname in High School was Pitler. I was the... Continue Reading →

I Believe People Can Change

I know people can change because I’ve done it. I’ve gone from good to bad, and back to good again. Being familiar with the whole cycle has helped me gain a type of empathy I wouldn’t have known if my life wasn’t filled with mistakes. When I was growing up, I was a bright and... Continue Reading →

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